


Mother

by lj_todd



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Mother-Son Relationship, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-17
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 17:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1477618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lj_todd/pseuds/lj_todd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jon is still little he calls Catelyn mother, she calmly explains to him that he can never call her that and why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mother

It is something that Jon does not remember but Lady Catelyn does.

Every time one of her children calls her mother she remembers the day she told a child, a child who'd barely been two-years-old, that he could not call her mother. 

Something she had done all because she was jealous of his mother. A woman he did not, and would never, know.

Jon had been in the nursery with Robb, playing with his half-brother's toys while Maester Luwin looked at a bruise on Robb's leg to ensure it was nothing serious. The nursemaid who tended to Jon had gone to fetch something and Catelyn had been sitting in a chair, sewing a new shirt for Robb, when Jon had set Robb's toy wolf aside and pushed himself up to his feet, wobbling slightly as most toddlers did before he slowly, carefully, tottered over to her.

She paused her sewing, looking down at the boy who looked so very much like her Ned that her heart ached, a small frown graced her face as those big grey eyes stared up at her as a smile, warm and happy in the way only a child's could be, spread across his pale little face. He took another step, stumbling only a bit, before one little hand carefully grasped the fabric of her skirt.

"Mama!"

Everything in the room seemed to still.

Maester Luwin looked over so quickly it was amazing his neck did not snap. Robb, sitting on the table, giggled happily and nodded when Jon looked at him, clearly encouraged by his brother's agreement of his word Jon looked back at Catelyn, still smiling that bright smile.

"Mama! Mama! Mama!" 

Jon sounded so happy, so proud of himself, that it nearly broke Catelyn's heart to do what she had to do.

"No, Jon." Her voice was soft, gentle, but firm. "Not Mama."

Jon's smile, so sweet and loving, faltered as his gaze went to Robb, who appeared just as confused by Catelyn's words, and then back to Catelyn. His smile began to slip and a small frown was taking its place. "But...Robb call Mama..."

Catelyn nodded. "I am Robb's Mama."

The frown grew as did the confusion in Jon's eyes.

"So...my Mama?"

Catelyn look her head. "No, Jon. I am not your Mama."

Slowly, oh so slowly, Jon let go of Catelyn's skirt. "Not..." He looked at Robb, clearly seeking guidance but Robb had none to give. "Why...why not?"

"Because you have a different Mama, Jon. I am Robb's Mama but not yours because you have a different Mama."

Jon's frown grew until he looked ready to cry. "Where she?"

Catelyn glanced at Maester Luwin who shook his head, clearly trying to tell her not to do this, to let Lord Eddard do it, but Jon had asked her and he deserved to hear her answer.

"I do not know, Jon," she said, still speaking softly, calmly, wanting to reach out and offer comfort but unable to bring herself to do so. "But you cannot call me Mama, for I am not your Mama, do you understand?"

She thought the boy would say something, would ask more questions, but he nodded, though she doubted he understood before he returned to where he'd been sitting. Catelyn watched him, waiting for him to pick the toy knight back up and continue playing, but the boy just sat there, staring at the fire. She looked to Maester Luwin, who shook his head as he lifted Robb and set him down next to Jon before leaving the room. Robb, seeing his brother was upset, immediately reached out to hug Jon, a hug the younger boy did not return.

Catelyn frowned and started to speak but Robb beat her to it.

"Don't cry." Robb hugged Jon tighter, clearly able to see the tears in Jon's eyes. "Bwofer, don't cry."

Jon made this little sound and pushed at Robb, clearly trying to push him away but having no leverage not do it. "No." Jon shook his head. "Not bwofer. Not Mama and not bwofer."

Robb looked at Catelyn, looking close to tears himself, and she immediately regretted telling Jon the truth because the truth hadn't just hurt Jon but Robb and the last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt her precious little boy. Before she could say anything, before she could reassure Robb, Ned stepped into the room, frowning as he sensed the tension.

"Cat?"

Robb immediately looked up at his father, still hugging Jon even though the smaller boy was trying to get away. "Papa...Papa, Jon say not bwofer! Tell him! Tell him we bwofers!"

Ned, without hesitating, stepped forward and knelt down, carefully turning Jon's head, the dark haired boy stilling, and looked at his younger son's face. "Jon, why would you say you and Robb are not brothers? You are _both_ my sons, Jon, and that makes you brothers."

Jon shook his head and pointed at Catelyn. "Not Mama." Then he pointed at Robb, who still held him tightly. "Not bwofer."

Ned met Catelyn's gaze and didn't have to ask what Jon was talking about. He saw in her eyes. Lifting both boys into his arms, carrying them to the door where Jon's nursemaid had appeared moments before, he told her to take the boys to the kitchen and get them a cookie or sweet cake, waiting until she and the boys were gone before turning to his wife.

"Why?"

She didn't flinch under his icy stare, merely lifted her chin. "Because he is not my..."

"He is little more than a babe! You could have pretended! At least until he was older. Old enough to properly understand, Cat!" Ned shook his head, hands clenching as rage burned through him. "Now...Now he doubts everything he thought he knew!"

"I told you to send him away," she snapped back, glaring at him just as he glared at her. "To foster him somewhere, anywhere, but Winterfell. But you wouldn't. You'd rather insult your honour, and mine, by raising your bastard with our trueborn child!"

Ned got this look, this haunted look, the one he got every time Catelyn mentioned that Jon was an insult to his honour, and he say nothing for a moment before drawing a long, deep breath. "I will not foster him somewhere else," he said calmly, coldly, before he turned. "He will grow here, in his home, with his brother."

Catelyn threw her sewing at the door after he'd left, glaring daggers at the fire, cursing the day Ned had returned from the war with Jon. Praying that the Seven would just take the little boy away and that would be the end of it.

A week later Jon came down with the pox and Catelyn realized what she had done. But even after the Seven answered her prayers to save him, she could not keep her promise, could not love a motherless child who loved his trueborn siblings without wanting any more than he was given. 

And when her family began to fall apart, her husband murdered, daughters held captive in the capitol, and younger sons butchered by Ironborn, she knew, deep in her heart and soul, that she was being punished for breaking her promise to love her husband's son, to be a mother to Jon Snow.


End file.
